b'For over 20 years, I have been a nanny who has 5.Wheneverpossible,maintaintwoexclusivelyworkedwithdivorcedparents.No separatehouseholds.Whileschoolbags,divorce is easy, but there are certain things that instruments, electronics, and sports equipmentyou, as the nanny, can do to make this difficult can go back and forth from home to home andtimelessstressfulforthechildrenwhilestill typicallybecometheresponsibilityofthemaintaining a professional relationship with the children and the nanny (assuming shes the oneparents. transporting the children back and forth duringthe week), there are other items that should be1. Know your role. First and foremost, you must in both homes. Having clothing, shoes, toiletries,remember that you are there for the children. medications, and other daily necessities in eachAs a nanny, you are responsible for their safety, home for each child can make transitions easierwell-being,andcomfort.Whenworkingwith andgivesthechildrenthesensethateachdivorcedparents,thismeansthattheremay home is truly their home. While it may take extracome a time when you must intervene on the work to maintain items in both homes, it makes If youre achildrens behalf.it quite easy to shift gears when there are last-minutechangesinthescheduleorwhenan2. Maintain professional relationships. When emergencyarises.Andthesewillhappen.Be nannyrelationships end, it can be natural for parents prepared.Whenchangesdooccur,remainto turn to others for support. For nannies, it is calmwhenexplainingthenewplanstothe working foressential that you do not become the new best children.Childrenofdivorcetendtofindfriend of your MB or DB (momboss or dadboss). securityinroutine.Smallchangescancause divorcedRemember, you are not a convenient sounding anxiety and worry, so be careful to explain toboardforallthatiswrongwiththeirexor the children why the change has occurred and parents,everything that went wrong with their marriage, what it means for them. and you most certainly are not there to bear the there is abrunt of the frustrations that they are feeling 6.Remember,consistencyisking.Whiletowardeachother.Setyourboundaries consistencyissuperhelpfulforchildrenandupfront,andifnecessary,outlinethe nannies,whatoneparentdoesinonehome, Facebookboundaries in your work agreement so that you the other may not do in theirs. For this reason, itare all on the same page from the get-go. is important to pick your battles. If mom lets the group justchildren have ice cream for dessert every night,3.Fosterpositivetalk.Temperswill but dad wants them to have fruit, its not going for you. Youoccasionally rise, so do not allow name-calling to harm them to have ice cream when theyre ator negative talk about the other spouse in front moms house. Knowing that they are fed and can requestof the children. Also, dont allow other family bathed,theirhomeworkisdone,andthatmembersorfriendstotalknegativelyinthe theyre safe in their home should be the main to joinpresence of the children. Children pick up on concerns.Whetheroneparentletsthemeatthe feelings and tone of their parents, and little candy or watch cartoons for three hours should Nanniesearsbecomebiglistenerswhentheyknow not be a source of conflict between the parentssomethingisbeingsaidthattheyarent and caregivers.supposed to hear. Children of divorced parents Working forare some of the most insightful when it comes 7. Strive for stability. Stability is also essentialtoknowingwhatsreallyhappeningintheir for kids, especially when they have experienced Divorcedhome environments.divorce. The children will want to know who ispicking them up from school, which parent is Parents and4. Dont be the messenger. Do not let yourself coming home when, and whose house they areORthechildrenbecomethemessenger going to each day. Children of divorce tend to mention thatbetween the parents. Doing so does not bode need stability to feel safe and secure in theirwell for all involved. While the parents may not environment,becauseitisalwayschanging. you heardbe able to communicate with each other, this Goingfromhousetohouseeachweek(orisnt about themits about their children and weekend) is stressful. Be patient and calm whentheir needs. Have communication tools in place assuringthechildrenthatyouregoingtobe about it viato help ensure messages get delivered directly there for them.to where they need to go.NannyMagazine20 Summer 2020|NannyMag.com'