Reality: A funeral is an important ritual that allows people to say goodbye to their loved one – it’s a key part of the grieving process. It shows children their mother was valued and loved by others and that feeling grief is okay. Children who want to attend should not be prevented from doing so. If they prefer to stay in the background, respect their decision. For very young children, enlist a friend to help with care or an early departure, if needed. If they choose not to go, encourage them to commemorate their mother in their own way by planting a tree, lighting a candle, or making a scrapbook.