b'TheInternationalNannyAssociationreportsthataccordingtotheNationalClearinghouseonChildAbuseandNeglectInformation(NCCANCH)all50statesrequireindividuals to report abuse, be it in the capacity of a childcare worker or a concerned individual. Each state varies,but the responsibility to us is there.negating the first. This family treats me so well, but they donot pay me legally. Is your employer really treating you welliftheyarenotdoingwhatislegally,ethically,ormorallyexpected? A but statement minimizes the first half of thestatement as being less important than the second half.Peoplehaveanotheroption,however.Theycanthinkinterms of and. This is a powerful shift of thought and oneMahencouragesnanniestoembrace.Thesepeoplearenice AND they are abusing children. Both statements aretrue,bothareequallyweighted.Bothmayreflectreality.When you think in terms of and, rather than or or but, theprocess of determining your next steps may be clearer.ConsiderationsIts easy to be ethical when you have job security, money inthe bank, and your own place to live. Its more difficult whenyoure faced with making a decision when you know it couldcost you your job, your security, and your housing.Nannies are at risk of being exploited due to the very natureMichelle LaRowe of their work. There is an unbalanced relationship betweenWhenyouconsiderthefourEs yourobligationtoreportcanbe nannies and nanny employers that can make it challengingeducation, experience, expertise, and tellingofhowyouviewyour to take action when it involves the party in power.ethicsthesearewhatmakeyoua responsibility.PeopleoftensayIprofessional.Andwhenyouoffera hadtomakeareport.Andthat Parents often refer to nannies as members of the family, forprofessionalservice,youhavean soundsalotlikehavingtopay example. That designation alone removes the professionalethical obligation to share truth based taxes, shares Mah. That language boundaries that are in place and can serve as protectiveonyoureducation,experience,and indicatesresistancetoreporting. barriers from exploitation. And boundaries arent real untilexpertise.Mahequatesthisto Instead of saying I had to make a you are up against them. Mah serves up this analogy. Youviewing your employer as a customer report,orIhadtospeakup, are going car shopping and your budget is $5,000 for a car.oraclient.Whatisthedifference? changingthelanguagetoI ThatswhatyouhaveandthatswhatyouaregoingtoWhenyouareworkingwitha advocateforchildrencanimpact spend. Your mind has been made up. That is, until you arecustomer, as they say, the customer is how you view your responsibility. presented with a car that is $5,500. Now the boundary isalwaysright.Whenyouareworking realandwillbetested.Nanniesmaybelievetheyhavewith a client, they expect you to share When considering reporting, people boundariesinplacewithregardstowhattheybelieveyourprofessionaladvice.Aclient mayalsothinkintermsoforor substantiates abuse or neglect, or what they would do ifexpectsyoutouseyoureducation, butastheyworkthroughtheir they suspected abuse or neglect, but until that boundary isexperience, expertise, and ethics (the internalprocessandstrugglewith tested, their choices and actions remain unknown.valuesoftheprofession),totheir their humanity. I can report or notbenefit.Asnannies,youmust report.Iwassuspicious,butthey It is human nature to talk yourself out of doing what youconsider how you think of yourself and are good people. With or, there is dont want to do, says Mah, so it is natural for nannies toyourrole.Ifyouwanttoconsider anexclusivityinthethinking.You try to convince themselves not to act. You are faced with ayourselfaprofessional,thereare reportoryoudonotreport.You problem, and you come to a solution. It is human nature toethical and legal obligations that go force yourself to choose a box. One try to find another solution when you do not like the one youalong with that.ofthechoiceslives,oneofthose cameupwith.Infact,youmaycontinuetotrytofindWhats your language? choicesdies.Butisnobetter.But different solutions, but keep coming back to the first oneThe language you use to describe putsonethoughtfirstandone because the first one was the right one. But it is also thethought second, with the secondhard one. That is the moral dilemma. Can you live with the 28 WINTER 2020|NannyMag.com'